Wednesday, August 1, 2012

A Sad Day in the 'Neigh'borhood

 Remember the horses that live at the curb next door?
Well, there's been a sad event, and Silver is no longer with us. 
 Two nights ago a group of hipsters (well, actually, they looked like roller-derby girls) on roller skates rolled down the street and one of them grabbed and stole the white horse.   I saw it all go down, and yelled at her from the porch at the
 top of my lungs that she needed to "bring it back or I was going to call the police!"
 She took off at full speed to catch up with her friends with the horse named Silver in her hands. She turned the corner and I thought that she was gone.  However, a few minutes later, she skated back by and I saw that she still had the horse.  I was so mad about the theft that I got in my car and chased her down several blocks away, and demanded that she give me the horse back. We exchanged some words, but in the end, I won and she handed the horse back to me. She told me that I was stupid and that this should be an episode of Portlandia; which at the time, I couldn't agree more.  Who chases down plastic horse thieves on roller skates?  
 I brought Silver back to the house, put him at the curb, and shared my story with Judy, my next door neighbor who owns the horses.  The story gathered a lot of attention of Facebook, as my friends thought that I was a hero, and that the gal who stole it was a complete thug with no respect for her community. 
Judy tied a new collar on the horse that was made of wire, fancied up the fence, and put a miniature 'Neighborhood Watch' sign up right next to the horse.  All was good in the world.  Until we woke up this morning.  When I looked out the window and didn't see a white horse, I knew that there was trouble.
This is the scene that we woke up to.  I walked out to the curb and my heart sank.  The horse and the sign had been stolen, the fence and Clyde were knocked over, a Lone Ranger doll (and 2 miniature horses) were added to the curb, and bright red paint representing blood was splattered all over the curb and horse corral.  The hipster roller derby gal had come back for revenge! What a senseless act which left us feeling sad.  Clearly, this loser of a person has some anger issues.  I'm certain that the karma is going to be extra tough on her for this one.

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