Cheryl's Celebration of Life

 On Saturday, we had a celebration of life gathering for my mom.  She would have loved it~I hate that she wasn't there to see the people that meant the most to her all in one room.  It was a lovely event...she would have approved!

Her childhood friend, Roger 'Bud' Brooks did her eulogy.  She had talked with him years ago about this, and asked him if he would write hers when she died someday.   He didn't necessarily agree to the reading part of it, but he stepped up to the task and did a wonderful job.   Many people have asked me to post the words that were shared that day, so here they are.  (sorry the font is so small.  I think that you can 'right click' on the image....'open in new tab'.....then enlarge)  Rogers words are appropriately inappropriate.  My mom would have loved them!  Thank you, Roger!

 

My cousin, and Cheryl's nephew Michael 'Albie' Albada, also surprised us with a poem that he had written about my mom.  It was wonderful and perfect.  Cheryl would have loved and appreciated this so much.  Thanks, Albie.

What I'm Thankful for this Thanksgiving

Yes, I'm thankful for a lot of things this year.  My amazing boys, loving husband, a job, a home, great friends, etc.  The list could go on and on and I really mean that.

However, this year I am feeling beyond grateful and thankful for my sidekicks throughout life...my siblings.

Greg, Kathy, Mark, Susan...in that order.  With a  span of only 4 1/2 years between the four of us, we grew up as a group.  Early on, I would say that the dynamic was that Greg and Susan would 'team up', and Mark and I would as well (bookends vs. the middles).  Growing up, we had  fights and disagreements that are typical with  any siblings~but we've always had each other's backs. We are the Slater kids.

 Each of my siblings is such a gift.  Brother Greg, the oldest, is the picture perfect example of the first born.  Extremely smart, capable, and successful.  As the oldest he has been working tirelessly to manage the estate for my dad since he passed away last year.  My favorite memory of Greg from childhood is him being Eeyore, and giving us rides on his back around the house.  A great brother, indeed.  He can always be counted on...and looked up to like a big brother should.  He is solid. 

Mark, my younger brother.  We've always been tight, and I would say that our temperaments are the most similar between all my siblings.  All I have to say to him is "oh, yah", or 'strawberry", or "you watch it!", or "don't try to be a hero" and he knows.  He's incredibly good at staying quiet when I relentlessly probe him about his work; he doesn't budge.  Mark  makes me smile.  He's a good egg.  He's a "getter' done!" kind of guy.

Susie.  The baby of the family, and she fit that role to a T.  She has always been  the little sister.  She was the cheerleader, the social queen, and the sibling with the most spunk.  We shared a room and got along as children, but our connection then is nothing like our relationship as adults. We are tight.  We talk at least 2x a day, and would be lost without each other.  Susie is one tough cookie and always finds a way to make lemonade out of lemons.  She is such an inspiration to so many.  Susan is all about STRENGTH .  She is awesome...she is my sister.

With the loss now of both mom and dad in the past year and a half, we have been through some tough moments together...more than most siblings will probably ever endure together as adults. But we were able to handle ourselves with grace, respect, love and support.  I know that not many families could have gone through what we have,  and come out even stronger on the other side.  We are blessed.

Our mom and dad gave each of us so much over the years~unconditional love, guidance, support.   But the greatest gift that they gave us is the gift of each other.  We are 4 lucky kids!
For that, I am thankful.

My mom's obituary

Cheryl Ruth (Albada) Slater

January 10, 1944 - November 12, 2012

SALEM - Cheryl Albada Slater, 68, of Salem, passed away on November 12, 2012 due to complications from pancreatic cancer. She was surrounded by her family at the time of her passing.

She was born on January 10, 1944 in Bellingham, Washington to Francis and Grace Albada. Cheryl was a lifelong Salem resident, and a graduate of North Salem High School, class of 1961. In August, she attended her 50th high school reunion and enjoyed reconnecting with so many friends. Cheryl worked as a histologist at Salem Hospital for 25 years. She was happiest being at home, "seeing what the day might bring" and enjoying the company of so many friends, near and far. She was an extremely giving and open person who had the ability to connect with just about anyone she met. She loved to laugh and always had a quick-witted comeback.

On September 28, 1963, Cheryl married Stuart Slater, her husband of almost 48 years, until his passing in 2011. She is survived by her sister Janis Brooks, and brother, Jeff Albada. Being a mother was Cheryl's greatest joy in life, and she was most proud of her 4 children. She loved nothing more than seeing them as friends in adulthood: Greg (Susan), Portland; Kathy (Dan) Moore, Portland; Mark (Claudine), Portland; and Susan Cotter (Seattle).

Cheryl was a fun 'Gramma' and always treasured the time that she spent spoiling her family, especially her seven grandchildren: Grace (13), Ella (10), Caroline (8), Christopher (8), Nathan (8), Catie (8), and Will (5).

Cheryl lived a life that was full of family, friendships, and laughs. She will be missed.

If you would like to make a donation in honor of Cheryl's life, the family asks that it be made to www.salemhospitalfoundation.org on behalf of the incredible nurses in the ICU who cared for her in her last days. A celebration of Cheryl's life will be held on Saturday, November 24th at the Salem Red Lion.

Cheryl

Sitting down to write this blog post about my mom is not how I would choose to spend this rainy, cold, heavy-hearted Saturday in November; just 5 days since my mom passed away.  But I will do it, and get it posted as soon as I can, because I know that she’s looking for it from above.  She loved to read my mamamooregon blog, and share it with her friends. She told me this all of the time.  “Kathy, you’re such a good writer!”  She would scroll back through old posts, telling me of her favorites on here.  I don’t actually think that my ability to do a post was what she admired.  I think that what she was really saying was that she enjoyed reading my posts because it’s where she could reap what she sowed as a mother, and brag about her family…that she loved more than anything.  So, here goes…..

My mom was a mom at her core.  Mothering was her greatest accomplishment and greatest joy in life.  She gave birth to the 4 of us kids within a 4 ½ year time span.  She always said that looking back, those years with kids at her feet were her favorite.  We were always her priority, and we knew it; felt it.  She kept our faces clean with a swipe and a rub of her big thumb with her saliva as the cleaning agent.  We sure hated that.  As adults, my mom would always tell us how much she loved that the 4 of us kids actually like each other and would choose to spend time together.  This made her most proud.  She loved seeing us being both siblings and friends.  As a mom, I now totally get it.   This was truly a gift that she treasured.

 She was the kind of mom that all of our friends thought to be ‘so cool’.  She had an open door policy on our house, and it thrilled her that our house was the house where everyone would hang out.  I now know why it was that way--my mom made everyone feel welcome and was happy to accommodate another dinner plate or two for whichever friend happened to be there at meal time. Things were easy at the Slater household.  It felt like home to everybody.

 On my 13^th birthday, my mom even loaded all of my slumber party friends into our van and drove us to the next neighborhood so that we could T.P. our Social Studies teacher’s house.  “Coolest mom ever!” everyone proclaimed.  As a mom, she was always supportive rather than judgmental or rigid.  As teenagers, she never gave us a curfew, but rather trusted us to show good judgment.  I think that her easy going style of parenting is what ultimately kept all of us out of trouble…we would never do anything to break the trust that we had, and we knew that our mom had 100% faith in us and our decisions.  It was a magical combination.

My mom was fun.  She was also quite funny.  Although often times her jokes were borderline inappropriate, she loved to laugh and make others laugh.  She loved the simple pace of everyday life (“nothing fancy!”), and was always beyond generous to others.  She really was full of love.  She made the best clam chowder around.  She loved her animals.

My mom was rich with friendships.  She always would say “I have so many friends!” and yes, she did.  Friends from her childhood, friends from her neighborhood, friends from bunco, friends from work, friends from the grocery store, friends from online, friends from everywhere.  Cheryl was the kind of person who could be friends with just about anyone.  She was open to others and always gave people the benefit of the doubt, and welcomed them in.  As rich as she was with friends and being with them, my mom was also very comfortable with her alone time, and ‘putzing’ around the house.  She loved it when she actually didn’t have to go out to get anything for the day.  It was like a little victory to her, as she loved to stay put and “see what the day might bring.”

My mom was not perfect; in fact there were some things about her that drove us kids crazy over the years.  Her inability to have her picture taken (“I don’t know how to smile!”), her constant worry about her hair looking bad, how she planned things by verbalizing them out loud (“I am going to go fold the laundry, then I will get dinner started!”), how she would leave the dishwasher hanging open and the water running in the sink for no good reason, her smoking, her dance moves, how she would shake tons of salt on her food before tasting it, her uncanny ability to show up early to every single event, her lack of smooth social graces at times, the list could go on.  But those were all things that made Cheryl, Cheryl.  It’s funny how those annoyances quickly become treasures to our memory.  I can hear her voice in all of the above.

My mom joined Facebook, and she sure had fun connecting with people on there.  Sister Susie and I had made a pact that we wouldn’t friend her because we feared what she might write with her comments.  Well, eventually Susan caved, and accepted her friend request.  My mom was always the first to post/comment on her wall, and often times we would call or text each other and just cringe at what mom had just typed.  It drove my mom crazy, but I held strong and never would accept her friend requests.  She would jokingly give me grief about it all the time.  (Just so you know mom, even with your passing I didn’t rush to suddenly accept your request.  That would have made you so mad.)  I’ll leave that one pending.  Forever.

 My mom died much too soon, and I know that she didn’t want to die yet.  There were places to go, grandchildren to love, jokes to tell, friends to visit.  She was so angry that pancreatic cancer had found her-- but she was ready for the fight.  She always had a fear in the back of her mind about this awful disease, because her father died from it nearly 45 years ago.  One of my mom’s favorite things to say, that she echoed from granny, was that “all will be as intended.”   I don’t think that this is what she agreed to when she said those words.  She intended to do a lot more living.  She will be missed. 

My Mom

My heart is broken into a million little pieces, so this blog post won't be much right now, but I am posting to let the world know that we lost a good one~my mom.  She died on Monday, November 12th due to complications from pancreatic cancer. 

Mom, I know that you loved this blog.  You can still find updates here.

We love you and will miss you terribly. 

We know that you are at peace.

Godspeed to you, G'ma.